All One Liners and Comebacks

One Liners

When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.

This One-liner joke is rated: 2.5 from: 2 votes

One Liners

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".

This One-liner joke is rated: 0 from: 0 votes

One Liners

Temples are free to enter but still empty. Pubs charge to enter, but are full. People ignore inner peace & choose to pay for self destruction

This One-liner joke is rated: 0 from: 0 votes

One Liners

Girls wanting giant ass teddy bears, & VS bags, and bouquets of underwear for valentines day. Just give me some pizza & I'll love u forever.

This One-liner joke is rated: 2 from: 1 votes

One Liners

If I get interviewed by a police sketch artists, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I'm making him draw a pirate.

This One-liner joke is rated: 5 from: 1 votes

One Liners

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

This One-liner joke is rated: 0 from: 0 votes

One Liners

My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.

This One-liner joke is rated: 0 from: 0 votes