All One Liners and Comebacks

One Liners

Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"

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One Liners

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

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One Liners

April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.

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One Liners

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

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One Liners

It is said that, a way to a man's heart goes through a stomach. Aha...you might think that men go to their lovers to eat some soup.

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One Liners

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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One Liners

We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.

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