Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
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However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight.
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If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
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To a young housewife: remember that a small bottle of vodka not only will decorate the table but also will hide your cooking mistakes.
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If you're looking for the best time to spill things on yourself, might I suggest wearing a white shirt and right before an interview.
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If you feel lonely, down, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up. Remember, you can always change your birthday on Facebook!
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When your kids are little, you're a superhero. When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility.
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