Don't tell me I don't know the difference between right & wrong. Wrong is the fun one
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Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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What's the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself
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How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker
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Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso
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Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? The rest are hunting peckers
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Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest
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